When We are at a Loss for Words Ideas for Adolescents
“What was that? It has to be fireworks because we’re at a concert, right? Wait, everyone is running. Why can’t I find them; they were just right here next to me? I tried to scream their names but all that came out was a quiet whisper as I ran towards what seemed to be the only way out of this real life nightmare.”
What do you say to a friend who has just gone through something so terrifying and horrific? Where would you even begin in a conversation? These are all very valid and important questions, items in which we all hope to never face in our lifetime. Unfortunately, in our Las Vegas community we have been impacted by a darkness of anguish, disbelief, and melancholy as we gaze upon the strip’s horizon. What was once deemed as the “the sin city that never sleeps” with its dazzling lights and the everlasting beam from the Luxor is now looked upon with despair.
As the day’s progress, people are trying to make sense of a traumatic incident in which has no logical explanation. The infamous bargaining begins, as those who have lost loved ones reconcile in their mind what could have been done, said, or enacted differently to have created a different outcome. Every moment feels surreal as if you were part of a chapter in the Alice in Wonderland series and you’re just waiting to be woken up out of this strange scenario called life. You see things around you happening, people are talking to you and asking questions, but you are just not able to be an active participant of it all. At what point does anything make sense, that the world around you become real again, and you can exist without wanting to crawl out of your own body not to mention reality?
There is no absolute answer to these questions. Everyone deals with trauma and grief differently. There is no step by step stage in which someone will go through before being “healed”. Yes, there are generalized areas in which is provided for guidance but by no means does that mean if you follow it you will get through the sadness. We are all individuals, coming from vast backgrounds, cultures, familial structures, and experiences. We will utilize these experiences, histories, and knowledge to formulate a personalized journey towards the evolution of healing. With the aloha, empathy, and support of those around us we will have the strength to begin the walk on the path when we are ready.
For those who are a part of a support system, each of you possess an invaluable distinctive gift in which can never be duplicated and by far is worth more than words can ever do it justice. It is the gift of empathy, the human touch, and nurturing. When someone is going through such trauma and pain, no one can be in their shoes to discern exactly what is going on within their state of being. So here is a list of do’s and don’ts to help them get through this time:
DO SAY or DO DON’T SAY or DO
When the initial distress subsides, people will move towards a recovery pathway. It may not look like what would deem as the ultimate holistic realm of healing but as long as there is ongoing movement away from the sense of helplessness, hopelessness, and hatred of life’s circumstances; no longer are you in the presence of a victim of circumstances but a survivor of one.
